Time ClockWhen this is posted, it’ll be election day, 2016. I included the year because who knows when you’ll get around to reading this.  And what an election period it’s been. Period. No matter who you’ve been for, voted for, this message may be especially in order on a day like today, this election day.

Let’s say it’s about 6pm and you’re on the way home to catch the sad election results. (Doesn’t matter who wins; it’ll be a sad day for our country either way.)

Anticipating the results, there’s a good chance you’re tired, upset, frustrated. Suddenly, you start experiencing severe pain in your chest. It drags out into your arm. Maybe up into your jaw. your heart feels like it’s . . . outta sync, beating oddly.

You’re only a few miles from the nearest hospital. Unfortunately, odds are you won’t be able to make it that far. And here you are, wanting to know who’s going to be our next President. And to live long enough to be able to complain about it.

If you’re like me, you’ve been trained in CPR (or not), but they didn’t tell you how to perform it . . . on yourself.

Statistics say that most people are alone when they suffer a heart attack. Your heart’s beating improperly. You’re beginning to feel faint. You may have no more than ten seconds left until . . . you lose consciousness.

How do you spend what may be your last ten seconds?

A. Second guess who you voted for?

 B. Call your best friend forever, forever possibly not being so long in this instance?

 C. Call your worst enemy, so he or she can gloat?

 D. Pray . . . that no one gets 270 electoral votes?

 E. Find some other way to . . . waste what little time you may have left?

 Or . . . you could do . . . the right thing.

The answer (bearing in mind that I’m not a doctor and fortunately haven’t had to test the following): Do . . . the following.

Alternate taking and holding a deep breath for about two seconds and then expelling that breath with a deep, prolonged, aggressive cough, as if you were trying to produce a phlegm projectile from somewhere deep down inside your chest. Repeat this cycle about every few seconds (two seconds in and two second out) until you can find help or until your heart (hopefully) starts beating normally again.

I’m told deep breaths get oxygen into your lungs (where else would it go?) and coughing aggressively squeezes your heart and keeps your blood circulating. It also helps your heart to regain a normal rhythm.

Will this self-administered CPR work? Who knows, but, hey, given our next President, whomever that may turn out to be, what more do you have to lose? And, if it works,  it may just give you time to complain about our next President. Actually, that won’t require a lot of time.

Tell a friend. Even an enemy. Spread the word. Someone may be glad you did.

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